The Feline Territory

I got an email from a good friend few days back that sounded like an advert from a depressed, single people magazine:

28 years old, HSBC Bank Manager, knows politics, speaks average English, has no experience with girls, no hanky-panky. You interested?

27 years old, own business, kinda on the plump side, no experience with girls, really good with archery and cars, rather on the quiet side, so easy to dictate. Is he your type?

I was sitting at my cubicle in office when my big boss called me into her asylum and said:

I want to introduce you to someone. Not a 30 year old. He’s smart. Well, smart-looking. So, smart, I think. I’m sure he’s not married yet. Not sure where he’s educated, but he has brains. Very ambitious, just like you. I’ll bring you to see him. We so need to get you two introduced.

Me (squeaking): Ehm……….. how can he have all this be not-thirty and unmarried? Something must be wrong. Maybe he’s had a string of girlfriends. Then I’ll just be one of the air-headed dumb blondes.

Big Boss: Oh ya lah……….. its ok, we’ll just introduce….. (dictate, dictate, dictate)

I was driving just now and received an sms from my assistant:  Tomorrow got wedding, wear kebaya, so many boys will be there, everybody will be there… go find the ones with lots of money ok…. Someone with pangkat tinggi also…

Me: Puke, puke, puke.

Yup, I am the cupid’s enthusiast. I mean, I was. And it has been a mixture of embarrassment and constant laughter. I’m embarrassed to be introduced, or arranged. I laugh so hard when people try to do this because they have so much high expectations of me, when deep inside, I am an evil force ready to explode.

But, I have never gotten such a grand, never-ending feedback from all of you ever since I posted my most recent blog…. “Fallen”. Yes, you culprits know who you are!!

Its either everybody’s really happy that I have a newfound love, or everybody’s sad that they can no more try and match make me with their best-friend’s-friend-who-also-has-another-friend….. whatsoever chain of relationship! Or, its because people has been so terrified over my choice of men that they really wanna make sure I’m being extra careful this time.

Gosh, I should’ve been on Oprah with this amount of popularity!! Hehe. That way, I can so sit on Oprah’s mustard leather chair, cross my legs the way Nicole Kidman did, and laugh so loud during the interview just like Julia Roberts. And yes, I might wear the prissy bohemian skirt that J-Lo wore, and deny all the unwanted over sizzled rumors just like how J-lo did when she never mouthed a word about Marc Anthony. Its ok, I won’t jump on the couch saying ‘I love him’ like Tom Cruise did (that was sickeningly cheesy, although I do like Katie, I’ve always thought that Nicole was the better wifey.) And I will definitely do that erotic dance Teri Hatcher did, complete with the slinky prostitute’s shoes!! Hehe.

Honestly, I have been the victim of various people who either hates me a lot that they so wanna see me settle down with a somebody of anyhoo…. Perhaps because I have been so jolly single its pretty unbelievable how un-Ally Mcbelism I can be. Single and enjoying it? Can’t be true, doesn’t happen here on planet earth……

So, I have been on the match-maker’s top list and I disappoint them all…….. because I found my new interest on my own.

It also amazes me how many can be soooo interested in my little love life- geez, I’m just a scrawny girl, a corporate enthusiast by day, a student by night and a nerd in the making. Don’t worry people, my foreign affair was hot enough, I’ve mellowed down, life cannot get any hotter than this!! ;o

After posting that blog, I received endless messages and phonecalls from friends who either just wanna dig out the secrets, or perhaps those who wants to know if this is the next blunder of 2005…. Or perhaps friends who just really do care about me and my happiness? I guess I choose the latter. Basically, everyone’s just screamin- WHO IS THE DUDE?

Well, keep on guessing…….. all I can say is- its just an affair. Harmless. Harmless. Harmless……;o

I have a new love interest whom i have nicknamed Mr. Polite.

He is the nice person whom i address as the nice person on my previous blog.

I really really like Mr. Polite because he is very polite even though i am always mean and impolite to him. But, i like him anyway.

We started off as friends, but to him, it was love at first sight because he was breathless when he first saw me. Of course, i know the feeling. I can try and look very good looking when i feel like it. To me, he has a very irritating accent that some people find sexy, but i find it rather a way to make yourself sound younger. But, i like him anyway.

But, i like him anyway. He’s a lot taller than me, so thats good, coz at least when we go out, i can wear my stilettos and still won’t tower over him. This is why i like him a lot.

I think he is a little smarter than i am, because even though we are both pursuing our masters, i’m taking mine at good ol’ uia while he’s doing his in Harvard. But, i always make sure i win every argument, and he lets me win every argument because he really wanted me to like him. This is why i like him a lot.

Sometimes we get into little arguments, especially when i’m being really dictatorial or stubborn. When that happens, i think i will change the nickname from Mr.Polite to something else. Maybe, Mr. Argumentative. But, i like him anyway.

But, he is by far the nicest dude i’ve ever met, and that’s why i have fallen… and this is why i like him a lot.

Here’s a list of the most amusing drama that happened on my convo day:

1. The Dress: I wore a sari-oriented dress, very much beaded and very much shocking-flourescent-pink. Made me look like an indian bride-wannabe, hailed all the way from Madras…………
2. The Tudung: I was having a bad "tudung" day, thanks to UIA’s embroideried logo that i had to stich on top of my head, i had to spend three hours stitching it onto the scarf. I never leraned how to sew, i felt like i was gonna be a bad housewife desperate to learn how to cope with being a wifey.. arghhhhh!! The next day when i met other classesmates, they only used double sided sticky tape to place the logo!!
3. The Shoes: I got a brand-new Aldo shoes that a nice person bought for me, exclusively to be worn on convo day, the most expensive shoes i have ever worn all my life… so i became really jakun…. its 3 and half inches high… could barely walk, but had to be a "fashionable" shoe victim on my big day… but i survived!! I walked with my head held high as i took the scroll from the sultan…. and i didn’t trip!!! However, after the convo, i walked back to my car "barefooted’….. because i could walk no more in those killer heels… friends and family were embarassed that i was making an "orang asli" scene…. but i didn’t care… it was MY day and NO ONE can tell me what to do.
4. The Robe: As usual, the robe was too big for me, made me look kinda like a monk walking to the church to give a sermon. But, so what…. it was the "in" thing that day….
5. The Makeup: Thanks to MAC, Chanel and Bobbi Brown, my best gal Radin and me looked fantastic. If it wasn’t for these inventors of makeup, we would look like our usual original self- witches in disguise. So, the emphasize was more on our eyes, smokey eyeshadow and thick, black eyeliner. I wanted to look like those hindi megastars and Radin wanted to look like an Egyptian Queen. The eyebrows needed trimming too, so that they’ll look arched, shaped and daring. We could not afford a makeup artist, since we’ve only worked a few months, so we hired ourselves (more like, Radin hired me as i was better at painting people’s faces than she is), and i think we looked okay. Radin became the critic, i became the dictator. The product was two polished faces, all ready to flutter our lashes to the sultan.
6. The Smile: Practising how to smile at the sultan can be a big major problem, especially when you wanna look good for the sultan and also for the camera thats taking your photos. My brainy twin gave a tip: Don’t say "thank you" or your face will pout like a dolphin in the photos. So i practised in front of the mirror and it turned out ok. So when i took my scroll, i smiled the most pretentious smile ever and did not say thank you. The sultan didn’t mind, so that was fine. But after getting the photos, i think i kinda look like a clown…. my smile was too broad! Gezz, bummer!!
7. The Lipgloss: My dream of all time for convo day is to have glass lips like Britney Spears. So a nice person bought me a Bobbi Brown Hot Pink lipgloss, so glassy that it shines all day. Radin and i wore it like we were gonna eat the lipgloss, and in photos… it turned out good, but our lips also look rather…. congo. Like Oprah.
8. The Flowers: Its normal to receive bouquets of flowers on convo day, but only in an indian traditional family would you receive a bunga malai to hang around your neck. That was radin and me- flowers hanging around our necks… looked like two hindu sami walking around uia. If we relate this scene to the most recent issue in malaysia- we sorta look like the avid followers of Ayah Pin. Go figure!!!
9. The Party: The convo party i had was a blast, all the closest friends and family members came. I threw the party on behalf of myself because nobody wanted to throw a party for me, and i paid for the party on my own because nobody wanted to pay it for me. It was a way of me screaming to myself- i am very proud of myself, i deserve a party, if nobody will do it, i will!
10. The Nice Person: The nice person whom i’m romantically attached to was the last person to leave at the party. He left around 2.30am after having the longest conversations ever with my parents. I think they were discussing about how they should be given the veto power in United Nations or something like that. I could not wait any longer and became the horribly bad host when i went to bed at 2am and left my guest downstairs. So the nice person left the party without me saying thank you to him for coming and without me saying goodnite to him.

All in all, it was a day to remember………..

This post-convo fever leaves me with a stinging feeling of both sadness and gladness. As my gal pal Radin and me walked down to the Great Hall last saturday, holding on to our robes at 7.30 am in the morning, breathing the half-hazy air of the International Islamic University Malaysia, we grabbed each other’s hands which were frozen due to pure excitement and shrieked: "Finally!! Can’t believe its today!!"

We are camera fanatics, trying to look as unphotogenic as possible, took various photo shots of many many angles, trying to ..like always, be as creative, spontaneous and wacky as ever, with Radin’s favourite pose (tongue out like a lizard) and my Mariah Carey pose (head turned to one side, cheek facing the camera), and our favourite antiques of all time…. blowing kisses at each other in front of the camera.

But, underneath all the excitement, there was a feeling of sadness, and i felt the pang twice that morning, when i sat in the hall, and the rhythm of the arabic nasyid was playing as all the Professors walked in and sat in front of the graduands… and i saw my favourite professor and i just felt so honoured to have been taught by him. And i remembered the inspiring classes and the endless hours at the library…. and gosh, i miss all that. All those moments that i will never get back, all those experiences that has moulded me into the person i am today.

Dear World…. i have left all that…. my life as a juvenile…. and i really cherish all that…. its very hard to leave the nest when you have had such a good time.

God, it was the happiest day of my young life. Convocation finally came true, a big sigh of relief…..!!!!! A moment of joy and happiness…. years of hard work paid off!! Picture: Naughty Radin and Nasty little me goofing around at the Great Hall before the Big Ceremony. Even when we were celebrating our stepping stone into an adults’ world…. we can never behave…;o

In the robes!!!!! Picture: Lovely Nawar and me hugging each other after we got out of the hall….. lovin’ each other.

Picture: Cutie Lily and me right before we entered the hall… feeling very proud of ourselves and truly thankful for all those memorable years.

Picture: Shaheen and me…. happy that we finally made it through after all the nervous nights cramming’ for exams!

We made it!!!

It finally happened. My convocation day. The greatest thing in the world is not really to obtain a degree, but it is to have a "closure" of the most amazing years of your life clad in a traditionally grand green robe above a glam pink sari and being hugged by your bestest girlfriends who are as proud of you as you are proud of them and yourself. And also, to graduate from uia- the most controversial, hypocritical and nerve-wrecking centre of excellence. I received 10 bouquet of flowers last saturday!!! 10!!! I never knew i was so loved!!! He he!! Its a glorious feeling to receive a scroll, an accomplishment after years of burnin’ yhe midnite oil, the hardwork, and the endless misery of being a student living below the poverty line….. Well, not anymore!!!! ;o

I think i have found a man who has fallen in love with me.

I think i’m starting a new affair.

I think it started over a professional meeting that never was never really professional to begin with. I think we were meant to start off as corporate associates and the-like, but never initiated an intro such as that.

With him, life is defined as: The best of conversations and the worst of conversations.

I think this is by far the sweetest thing that has happened to me in 2005.

I think he has fallen for me and vice versa.

I think i’m quite ready to start a new chapter in my life again. I think my foreign affair which meant so much to me would always be the affair i will never forget. I think i’m quite ready to start something new, something amazing, something that could actually mean…. everlasting.

But is it okay?

This is new but yet it just feels comfortable….. unpressured… and just lovin’ the moment because the moment is sweet.

I think i just met the guy who has seen me at my most evil character and my ugliest of all virtues. yes, he has seen the worst side of me and my claws and knives. He recognizes me as someone who’s "not-nice" and "bittersweet" instead of the usual sugary sweet candy lollipop that i can be.

You see, i felt like he was first attracted to me, and i tried to brush it away in the most nastiest manner. But the more nasty i became, the sweeter it is actually. Who says men don’t fancy the mean girls anymore?

So, i wore the witches’ hat and the wicked attitude.

But yet, he has fallen. And about to fall deep if i try hard enough to really recipocrate.

We don’t talk. We don’t communicate. When a crisis happens, we prefer to go hush-hush and just shut-up. We are afraid to open up to criticism and say outright- "Yes, we were wrong, lets try to make a change."

We hate confrontations, we hate to say sorry when we actually are sorry. We are foolishly egoistic, we care too much about pride rather than saying anything right.

We are lazy, we are laid-back, we procastinate, we postpone, we spend to many long hours in the loo gossipping about the girl who wow-ed others.

We dress too loud and too trendishly sickening at times, but we legalize that by saying Asians are attracted to funny colours.

Yup, the Savvy- the most talked about vehicle recently launched. So- called the nemesis for the Myvi.

And i had a series of testing the cute thing, drove on the freeway and into the ulu kampungs………….. and its awesome. You just have to try it out.

Its great for the young because its affordable and small. Go for the ride and handling. Get the blue one with the sports rim.

Not many Savvies are on the road at the moment, our plant in Tanjung Malim is still producing the volume, and getting the TUV German certification. So, when you’re the only Savvy on the road, heads will turn…. which is the fun part…. hehe…. people turn to look…. and its not like as if you’re driving a Mercs SLK, but you’re definitely drivin’ the most talked about car from the most talked about company in the country. haha. And you walk out of the car with your two colleagues, all dressed in uniforms, with Proton badges…. geez, we looked like a military coup about to hit its target.

So savvy.

Yup, 20th August is about to become the 2nd most important celebration of my young life: my Convocation.

Its about getting a degree. Its about honour and getting honors. Its about wearing that green robe and getting that scroll. Its about showing off the photos you take on that day with all your family members huddled around you. Its about getting the flowers and the gifts. Its about wearing ‘that’ expensive dress and not feeling guilty about spending on it because its your convo dress.

Its about making your parents cry as you walk on the stage. And meeting the Sultan face to face to get your scroll. Its about the glam and the glitz on that day, on that stage.

Is it really about that? A small yes, but realistically…. to me, its actually about the closure of the most amazing years of your life.

The worst of examinations. The most interesting classes. The Professors you fell in love with. (Hehe) The girlfriends you fought with. The boys you had little insane crushes on. The strongest of all friendships. Its about being young and what you did with your young life. Its about burning the midnite oil and now you can say- its been really worth it.

Is it really about the Degree? Definitely not.

Its about the life i once had. Its undescribable. Its the life you want to go back to.

The convo fever has hit me. Big time.