The Feline Territory

Long-distance can be very heartbreaking … it makes your life turn form full colour to black and white, and sometimes, rather lifeless.

Afaf created this.

I celebrated my 25th birthday last weekend with my best-est girlfriends at The Ritz-Carlton, Bukit Bintang. Mass, Radin, Afaf, Nad, Era, Eli and i had a blast just being away from work and indulging ourselves in luxurious 5-star treatment

I decided that i and all the girls would not know where we’ll be next year- our lives are ever-changing so fast…. Afaf would be in Japan, Nad in Fariz’s arms, Radin in Syarul or ‘Mr. Paki-Indon-Nad’s-friend-who-is-very-smart-and-decent-but-will-introduce-to-you-if-you-dump-your-bf’ arms, Mass with her mysterious Datuk ‘K’ and workaholic-ratrace-life and me….. maybe at the other side of the universe…..so i thought spending a weekend in our good old Kuala Lumpur would be something to remember for all of us.

There was karaoke: i as the b’day gal started with a number one hit of dangdut, Radin went second with her Indon rock tryouts and all the girls sang their lungs out on many goofy-romantic songs. None of us could really really sing….. but then again, neither can Mawi or any of those AF graduates….. but we all so can scream our lungs out to "Always be my baby"…… the Mariah way.

The food: Although the only indian-oriented people in the crowd was Radin and me, Mamak food ruled the weekend, and was the dominant choice. True Malaysians we are, even at a 5-star opportunity scenario, good old roti canai is always first choice.

The hotel room: The best-est butler service in town…. just ring housekeeping and they all come crawling.

The swim: Being the only real swimmer in the clan, i went for a splurge alone at the romantic rooftop pool… under the soft drizzle. Oh well, when you don’t have the company, theres always the rain….

The pyjamas: Radin wore her best La-Senza and became officially the best-dressed that night. So the Kinky award goes to her. All of us were in striped menswear pjs while Afaf was the cutest in matching top and pants

It was the girli-est bonding ever…. it was exactly a kind of celebration i’ve always wanted if i evr turn 25!

Thank you girls… for the companionship, the singing, the laughing, the teasing, the walking, the shopping, the hair-pulling, the harassing, the almost-got-raped-pajama-pulling….. and most of all…….. the memories.

I don’t think i can ever live without girlfriends. This collection is for keeps.

Nad and Radin always in each others arms

Me doing the dangdut

Squeezing in for a big deal of memory

Getting raped in her La Senza

Heading for a very indian breakfast in pyjamas

In a 5-star room that we literally wrecked to pieces!!

Afaf looking very mak-datin by the swimpool

My favourite girls….. in my favourite city

I have seen so many relationships gone wrong, divorces happen, ongoing infedilities and crime to the heart, yet i still believe in true love.

I look forward to everlasting passion and enthusiasm in a relationship, where two people are in chemistry and in sync with one another. But, i know we do not live in an idealistic world and that the world can be very cruel at times.

In my constant struggle in trying to somehow sustain this long-distance relationship that i’m in, i often find myself falling out…. sometimes unnecessarily.

Sometimes i’m called selfish and self-centered, and when such claims are cast onto me, i never refute. Because i know such claims are true.

When there are two people with high ambitions, the relationship becomes a real tug of war. Sometimes i wish he was more relaxed, and not too far-reached. Sometimes i wish i was more laid-back and not so driven. We are both so career oriented that we dwell everyday about what will work be like the next day and the day after that. We try hard everyday to find ways to make life more comfortable and to build a high wall of tight security around us.

And we do all this just to deviate from the agony of missing one another. Because it truly is hard to be apart.

But, it is also difficult to make sacrifices that would cost a major lifestyle change.

But then again, the question is……. is it worth it?

For this kind of companionship? I would never think twice.

In this relationship, i think i have gotten more than my part of the bargain: love, loyalty, encouragement, support and complete trust.

If such notions are worthy of our sacrifices, then why not go head on with full frontal?

Maybe i will.

I’ve always wanted to become a grown-up.

When i was 10, i longed for the respect that 20 year old ladies get, and the liberty to wear red lipstick and high heels and just to be treated seriously because the usual public would pay more attention to me when i’m purchasing something- just because i look like an adult.

But then again, that was 15 years ago.

As i turned 25 today…. life, is definitley a mixture of bitter and sweet. And truly, birthdays are not a thing to look forward to anymore, because there are no more of those childish excitements for cakes and balloons……… and deep thinkers like me, would somehow escape into isolation to reflect on the 25 years that i have left behind.

This year, the clock turned 12midnite and its 24th of March and i was all alone, at the airport, just landed from a flight from anothr business trip up north. Its one of those times you will remember, because it just hit me hard- this is adulthood.

In adulthood, you dont get to do the things you used to do anymore. Responsibilities comes first, and my duty as an employee is number one above all other duties. Even if it meant spending the moment i turned 25 all alone at the airport, its ok, because we really need to put first things first.

Now, at 25, i’ve scheduled a few things that i can allow myself to do. Being 25 legitimizes my endeavour in such expedition this year:

1. Kahwin lari (i’m really gonna do it, girls………….)

2. A great escape to mend my broken heart from missing long-distance bf.

3. A career shift into face-painting and feature writing.

4. A place of my own (small apartment, as long as its labeled "my space")

At 25, i feel…… that life, and the struggle of it, has finally begin.

The good thing about the modern world is that you don’t need to marry a white guy to have blue eyes.

Another good thing about the modern world is that you can have blue eyes on Monday and black the next day.

If you don’t have it, then fake it.

Shakespeare once said that "Life is a stage, and all the actors are players…".

Today, life, is all about faking it.

But, only the wise would know whats truly real underneath the clothes, the skin, and the coloured lenses.

One thing that you need to understand about me is that i was born to colour the world.

My obsession with colours can be truly reflected by my choice of scarves, shoes, eyeshadow, and my orange car.

With the existence of my orange car, i also got myself a collection of orange travel bags and an orange handbag.

I don’t seem to be very experimental when it comes to the cats that i own though, all of them comes only in white.

With this realization, i have decided to become a part-time face-painter.

And my latest experiment (the eyelashes thing was an awesome interlude) is coloured contact lenses.

I have grey eyes today. Makes me look kinda cat-tish and very very feline…..

Perhaps this will bond me more to Snowy the Great?

I simply cannot "do" the laid-back life.

I cannot accept it that i am only 25 and i am not giving the best out of what i can.

Perhaps thats why i force myself to study part-time on weekends. I simply cannot accept that going to work and being at work and doing just that is the only thing that defines my everyday life.

Although work is good, fulfilling and comfortable, i cannot help but reach for something more, something bigger, something better.

Because i cannot accept that my job defines me. I realize that i needed to do something more, something extra.

Some people are satisfied by doing what is handed to them. How come i always search for something out of the ordinary?

Mostly people just ask me: How come you have so much time to waste, to work and still go to classes on weekends and still try to travel? Kerja tak cukup ke?

At 25? At 25, single, living in KL, employed, happily driving away in a sparkling orange car…..?

How could i NOT use my time to really really work, pick up as many classes as possible and try to visit as many places on the map of the world?

My father always say- you only live once. I kinda took that…literally.

Perhaps, in my humble opinion, it all boils down to two main things:

Ambition and Perseverance.

But why, am i more ambitious than others? Its been a brain-wrecking question. Why cannot i settle for less?

Why am i always wanting something extra-ordinary……. like it must be an awesome job, at an awesome company, wearing an awesome outfit, with an awesome pair of shoes, driving an awesome car, studying under an awesome mentor, conversations with an awesome friend, walking with an awesome guy….

Always wanting something big and something…… unconventional.

That’s why i think i don’t mind the long hours at work when we’re given, don’t mind the long drive to work, the long road travelling, the weekends studying, the money spent well-purposed.

Because at the end of the day, i know that i will eventually end up, with a very colourful life.

And thats something…. grander than grand.

Exactly what i have always wanted.

I was sent outstation recently and spent five long days in Johor. It was good to get pampered in a luxurious 5-star hotel. Good to get away from the office.

The bath tub became my entertainer.

But on the second day, I realized that the city is my place to be. Getting access to the internet was not easy, the only Starbucks was like 30km away… the only book that i brought along was this novel about a gal who loves shopping like mad…. very unhealthy.

So i ended up spending time after work reading the book, watching a Hindi vcd and buttering myself with cocoa butter body cream. And calling my gilfriends to whine and whine.

I became sooooo braindead. No wifi. No gen2. No life.

Thank God i’m finally back in KL!!!!

  The laptop, body butter, boring book and the hindi movie.

The bathtub… my saviour.

Cruisin’ the hours……

Radin

With sheer pink eyeshadow…

Nad

With a touch of green…

Thanks Nad and Radin for lending me your faces!