The Feline Territory

Quoting my favourite singer at the moment, John Legend suggests that ordinary people should take it slow.

I have been facing a few ups and downs the past few days, mainly about the most important thing in my life at the moment: my climbing career.

It sounds damn materialistic when i declare that this is the most important thing in my life right now, especially if i place such impotance ahead of others, mainly family, relationships and…. leisure.

But i do, and i can’t help feeling so.

At 25, i feel that a career is the biggest thing you could have. Property comes at a higher second and husbands come in a mere third placing. Husbands with money comes slightly above average though (Just kidding, Mr Bf)

But, as so much a big, satisfying career that i have longed to have, at the end of it all, i just wanna feel truly happy.

Right now i am truly thirsty to have that drive for something major, excellent, full frontal and big impact in a sense that i will tell myself one day that i did "that". And, probably write a memoir about it.

But, as i am, just like John Legend and other ordinary people, perhaps i will take it slow. Learn from my mistakes, figure out my differences, sharpen my saw and most importantly, strive to be truly happy.

Its just that it is easier said than done.

I caught up with one of my closest girlfriend at Marakech last night. Not the town in Morocco, but this cute alienated Arabian-Persian shop in the heart of Bangsar. The best thing about Marakech in Morocco is their Shawarma Kebab, but the best thing about Marakech in Bangsar is their Shawarma Kebab, their romantic Arabian tiles, warm and elegant waiters and especially, for the very fact that they surely don’t get enough customers that they  always treat you like an Egyptian queen.

Well, the girlfriend who i was chatting with happened to be of Egyptian origin, and coincidentally last night, she was clad in a black glittery abaya’ that made me smile sheepishly of the absolute glamour such a modest dress could appear to be.

But, isn’t it ironic, because as much as Middle Eastern that we appear to be, as i chew on one of the most delicious Shawarma lamb i’ve ever tasted, the topic of the evening was definitely far far away from the Eastern values.

If there was one thing Arabian chic and i had in common besides our mixed-parentage-thats-why-we-are-somehow-confused-human-beings, is our eagerness to be ambitious and fulfill our ambitions and our rebellion to survive in our on-going long-distance relationships.

She and i have adopted the Western culture, and as much as i hate to quote Samuel Huntington, i would still have to say that we have been reading too much of The Clash of Civilizations. Raihan was gonna elope to survive her long-distance relationship with cute mr white guy from the land of the convicts (Australia), and i was gonna tie the knot in front of the New York Stock Exchange (an idea from good girlfrind Yommie).

And the root of our frustrations towards such long-distance relationships- only Arab Chic and i know whats possible and impossible, and how some really impossible people can make people like me and her do the most outrageously impossible things.

A chat in Marakech made me realize that rebellion need not be loud and clear, but it could also be subtle and swift.

Sometimes you feel like everyone is against you because they dissapoint you and distrupt your life as if you were a cell inhabitant. And when people hurt you, at times they think they could get away with such hurt and torture just because you never bring it up anymore. But they have somehow forgotten that the most silent torture is the one that came from the deepest cut ever.

And Arab Chic and i, faced that and bleed buckets and buckets of blood. And we never forget.

There is literally nothing wrong with our long-distance relationships, but there are many things that are wrong with our many other relationships.

A chat in Marakech led to a lot of discoveries, the most matured talk i ever had on the matter of relationships, family, dreams, and the extraordinary.

Who ever said that Arabian tea can never act as vodka?

Well, who ever said that girls in abaya’ can never deal with Huntington?

Whoever said you can never get to be in Marakech in good old Kuala Lumpur?

Well, never say never.

It may sound very 80’s, but i will still declare: I am a Rod Stewart fan. I play his CD in my car, i sing along with his songs, i remember the lyrics and i will definitely play "For the first time" at my runaway wedding-to-be.

Last night, Rod Stewart appeared on American Idol. Somehow, his songs don’t touch me too much when its there on the telly. But when it is played in the player of my car as i drive to work everyday at 7am in the morning, the melody definitely kicks in.

There is something melodious, peaceful, jazzy and equally sentimental about the tunes, the lyrics and the voice of Mr Rod that creates this ambience of pure… romance. And i am hooked on it.

So, thank you Mr Rod, for filling my days with the era of the 1980’s.

I’ve always been looking for a real superhero.

Maybe i’ve been reading too many Marvel comics, but that’s ok, because some comics do turn into real life.

Just like mine.

There are some prayers in life that are truly answered.

This happened when i met the one guy, whose diligence and discipline and proactive attitude is so out of this world, its like reading a self-help book.

For a dude who’s uni ranked number one in the world, you’d probably think he’s got the universe in his hands and ready to be the next big thing this country has already been wanting to explore.

Ananda Krishnan revolutionized the telecommunications industry and married a Thai Princess. Stephen Covey birthmarked the 7 Habits. George W. Bush became the 43rd President of the USA, Meg Whitman created the e-bay and all the CEO’s of the World Bank, P&G, Enron and etc etc. all graduated from the same business school.

When my boyfriend graduates from Harvard MBA next month, i think i will buy him a nice creamery cake lighted with candles and a picture of a cat on top.

Until today, i’m still wondering of a good graduation gift for him. If only he was in Malaysia, then i can throw him a big barbecue party, with all lamb chops and mint sauce and Hindi music.

I think it’s finally time to show him that i really do care even when i act so selfishly and so rude and so insensitive. And that although birthday parties and celebrations and praises and woo-hoos are not common in his life, it will be now that i’ve come to change all that. Its time to finally celebrate the celebration that has not been celebrated- his 1st Engineering Degree, his Masters Degree and his other happy achievements. They all pass by because there was no gal to make a hoo-ha about the big deal.

But now, there is, because if there was one person who’s a real motivator, that gal will be me.

I think, university graduations are the best thing in the world. Its an achievement better than anything else, and always remembered as a winning trophy and everlasting happiness. Its a product of real hard work.

And i wish, my Harvard dude would realize what a big achievement he has gotten now that his two-year endurance is almost over. Its almost done with a two thumbs up. All the late nights and the constant studying and the neverending struggle.

But of course, for him, its no big freaking deal….. because life, according to him, at the end of day, is all about being the servant of The Creator, and nothing more, and nothing less.

I guess, it must have been hell-ish to be in a school so pressurising and demanding, and to have to go through all that stress, i am lost for words of encouragement nor comfort. Thus, i decided that Bryan Adams could do it for me, with this all time favourite number of mine:

There’s a road - long and winding
The lights are blindin’ - but it gets there
Don’t give up - don’t look back
There’s a silver linin’ - it’s out there somewhere
Everybody wants an answer - everybody needs a friend
We all need a shinin’ star on which we can depend
N’ so tonight we’re gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before - (to find what you’re
looking for)
There’ll be times - in your life
Ya when you’ be dancin’ n’ shit - but you ain’t gettin it
But don’t get disillusioned - no, don’t expect too much
Cuz if what you have is all you can get - just keep on
tryin’ - it just ain’t happened yet
Everybody wants ta be winner - everybody has a dream
We all need a shinin’ star when things ain’t what they seem
So tonight we’re gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before - (gotta get where you’re
headed for)

Everybody wants some kindness - everybody needs a break
We all need a shinin’ star when things get hard to take
So tonight we’re gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before

I think this would make an awesome theme song for his graduation- because its so real, to be twisted between the good and the bad, your dreams and your wants, heart-winning moments and heart-breaking episodes…. just like how his journey has been: a bundle of joy and a long winding road.

And just like the song Superman by Five for Fighting, that says, even heroes have the right to bleed, my superhero bleeds endlessly as he strive so hard to bring the best out of him.

And even heroes have the right to dream, he dreams of the highest mountains and the shiniest of stars.

And me, i’m just out to find, the better part of me.

And i think i’ve found the best of me in him.

And to be able to say this, is probably the best graduation gift ever.

Honestly, I am so Indian that it becomes a joke to everyone.

Today, I attended a really Paki wedding with good girlfriend, Nawar, who, if there was anything more hilarious, foolish and extremely Indian were to happen, it would definitely be with this girl.

It was a real poppadom experience.

We drove all the way from KL to Malacca in our grand Indie materials. Riding my very-Indian coloured car.

And the wedding was typical Hindustani, with police guarding the roads and a real banner hanging outside the house, practically screaming to guests that they have arrived at the right venue, and songs from Hindi flicks were playing loudly in the background, i could already imagine myself rolling on the grass of Kashmir in a hot red sari.

The colour was yellow and the wedding favors were laddoos.

Nawar and i has been close friends ever since we started uni. But Nawar prefers spending weekends at Jln Tuanku Abd Rahman, Masjid India and Habib Jewels more than hanging out with us nerds at the library when we were still undergrads.

Nevertheless, the one thing we both have in common is our bewilderment towards our really eccentric race. This probably brought us closer- the Indie factor.

I am stuck between a dad who’s Indian but also Chinese.

She’s stuck between an Indian dad and a Paki mum.

Nevertheless, the Indie race is something so jovial that it naturally becomes our topic of laughter, every single time.

Why do Indians always wear the loudest colour?

Why do they marry their own race and only their own race?

Why do our fathers eat nothing but curry, curry, curry?

Why do we always stay away from Indian men but today, i found myself dating one and she finds herself attracted to one?

Are we both doomed in this subcontinent world of common fate?

To eat nothing but curry, curry, curry and poppadom?

Hehehe.

My colleagues and i took a trip to The Carat Club one Friday afternoon to glitter our eyes. My boss kept on saying that this store has the best diamonds in the country. Of course, there was nothing i could afford, so i drifted into my dreamworld and my usual Analyze This attitude.

Jewellery reminds me of weddings. Thats where you get to see all the good stuff.

There’s been a hurricane of weddings these past few months.

As much as i hate weddings, many have said it is so un-girlish to have such a mindset. But for me, these days, people care so much about the event that they have forgotten to check out the quality of the groom.

Yup, its that depressing… The wedding i’m about to attend next month is a classic example of a Hindi flick. Boy meets girl at a party. Told his mum. Walking party drops by and theyre engaged! Scheduled to be married in May and i’m the crazy makeup artist.

People care so much about the lace they wear, and talks about Binwanis and Gulatis and the Silk Street, as if all of them who speaks, knows the world of such entrepreneuship….  but they might even be conned and never realize it. I too was a victim of a material gone wrong.

However, weddings are actually a good thing. The union of two lives. Two families. And a heavenly matrimonial.

So, to all my friends, especially Raihan and Radin who are expecting theirs real soon……. good luck and don’t forget to throw the bouquet out to me!

And for me, I will have my civil service in a faraway land…. so all i care about is the big gigantic rock.

And thanks to my long-distance lover who’s educated in all areas, decided that mine’s gonna be an E colored Lazare, complete with a love cut. That is, if we don’t decide to tie the knot in front of the Wall Street, like Yommie suggested.

But, at the end of day, all we ladies will end up wearing everyday is that bling bling on our finger.

My twinnie who just got engaged also got her rock stolen during our Big Break-In last month. RM2k flew into the hands of *&%#@!!! robbers. (Hell be upon them)

Since then, she cannot stop talking about the ring that she lost and if she should get another. And she’s only left with one puny little rock my dad bought for our like…. 12th b’day… (right now she’s showing the ring to me and said: "this ring is shinier now that i wear it all the time…. even when washing dishes") I rolled my eyes, a very respectful way of saying ‘bullshit’

But, all that glitters is not gold (quoting Shakespeare), but then again, who says love don’t cost a thing? Even J-Lo got her rocks in pink!

I had a boring weekend. Went shopping with noisy-loony twinnie on Saturday and a facial on Sunday. Totally unproductive. Had to do the shopping because there’s a wedding to attend and again, i’m digging out a bomb to buy a piece of jewellery for a loved one. And had to go for facial because i’m having this massive breakouts thanks to the new too-nourishing moisturizer i just started using. Thanks a lot, expensive Clinique "dramatically different" moisturizer!

I hate facials. The massage was ok though, in fact, it was heavenly, but the facial was too…. well, it was for two hours and i get even more stressed out when i left the beauty centre bcoz my mind was wandering away about life, interrupted…. and … my pathetic long-distance lovelife, my aging cat, my expensive car and the poverty that i’m always in.

And  today, after that facial experience this morning, i realize that i have been thinking about whats most important in my life. They are:

1. Snowy- loyal companion

2. My car- my gateway to frreedom and complete joyride

3. My job- career growth, corporate adventure, fulfilling dreams

4. My boyfriend- support system, finance minister, great inspiration, love

5. Parents and family- loyal companion, love and a great deal of TLC

6. My laptop- passport to the real world

So there! Two hours of facial and i’ve come up with a list.

I realized how important a cat can be to you if you have lived with her for 13 long years. And at this age, career comes first before parents and lovers because a career is my "stabilizer", makes me more determined and happy about being a human being who can give out to the nation and giving back to community.

And my one true possession/property, the Gen2, is way above the importance of anything else (except the white cat), and how my boyfriend is more important than my parents or family, because if i do wanna start a life with him, i’d better see him as a person who i will stand by every single day, very wholeheartedly and put that importance, above anyone else’s.

And of course, my laptop… the gadget to all the wonderful sites…. from the songs of Bono to the jewels in Tiffanys….. heheeh.

just my thoughts…

“V for Vendetta” is one movie i would rate to have the best of expressions.

It expresses my point of view on the uncertainties of matters.

There is no certainty; only opportunity.

Thus, with a goal in mind, one should strive for the best.

At this point in life, I’m blessed and confronted with so many opportunities. Some are finacial, some are emotional. And when made to choose, my humble mind would draw a map of all the negatives, the loss and the upcoming changes.

I realize that i have forgotten to hope for the best and just enjoy the ride. Carpe diem, Seize the Day.

I forgot that i had so much to live for and am living it so joyfully now….. happy career, wonderful friends, warm family….
That i was rather dwelling in my comfort zone and becoming one of those perhaps “laidback scumback”. Well, maybe not. I do expect to elevate my way of life throughout the years, but when this chance is being given to me NOW, i began to have second thoughts on ‘To Be, Or Not To Be’.

Well, Hamlet is always considered a loser for not being brave. That’s why The Merchant Of Venice is my favourite of all Shakespearean plays.

And i am no Hamlet to begin with. If there was one character i would be, it would be Macbeth- the ambitious, the wild, and the greedy. And if there was another character that i would play in Macbeth, it would be one of the three witches (which i really did acted as, back in 1st year UIA)
That life is a stage, and all the actors are merely players……. like Shakespeare said again.

I don’t think i deserve the role of a minimalist, or a flat character. In drama class back in uni, a round character is the perfect one, because they evolve. Am i that character?

I truly hope so, but i don’t think i will be if i continue to list out all the negativity again and again whenever the door of opportunity knocks.

There is no certainty, only opportunity.

And obstacles are only stumbling blocks….. and pushes you up and helps you to pick yourself up along the way.