The Feline Territory

As planned, the girlfriends and i made an entourage into the heart of the city on Merdeka eve.

Time: 8.30pm

Venue: Hotel Malaya, Chinatown (can anyone get more dodgy-er than this??)

Yommie and i decided to try out some cigars while waiting for the girls. We looked like typical nerds, exhausted from work, chatting still about work, discussing about Fortune 500 companies and flipping through my favourite book, "Good to Great". I did an awesome puff, complete with the "o" pattern as the smoke vanishes in the air. Yommie although not really an ammature, almost choked herself to death and reach for her asthma pump.

The complete part begin when Radin and Nad arrived at 930. They looked like the Pussycat Dolls with their glitzy Guess bags, skimpy top, skinny jeans and perky attitude. I wonder how do their colleagues concentarte at work? Radin gave me the bootie when i asked her that.

Entourage headed to Hameed’s kedai mamak next door for a typical Malaysian dinner of roti telur, kuey teow goreng and sirap bandung.

Entourage took the "bus" (yup, you want something Malaysian, here it is, in your face!) to Bintang Walk.

Segafredo become the ultimate hangout till midnite because they wooed us with delicous ice creams at their entrance.

But, nothing can be more irritating than a bunch of drunk yuppies sitting behind you with clearly no visions in life and no intellecuality either.

But, we managed to have fun when the part goodies was handed to us.

12 midnight: Happy Merdeka, entourage looked for a cab. All charges was a whopping rm50 for that night, this is so typical Malaysian cab drivers shooting the price up to victimize customers.

We chose the bus instead, which made or whole night much lovelier because it reminded all of us of the old uni days when buses were our main mode of transport. Ah…. those were the days… It felt like ages, but realistically, it was only a mere 20 months ago for me.

1.00am: Entourage reached the hotel after bus refused to budge becoz of the heavy jam, but finally reached our destination. Back to our super sleazy hotel.

We looked around us and Petaling Street smells of beer and looked almost like an abandoned marketplace. KL as it is, looks truly like a city that never sleeps.

We gossiped about old uni mates before we slept…. and it was just so much fun just hanging out together like a bunch of high school kids on an escapade.

1.30 am: Ready for bed, Aziz Bakar called the usual goodnight call and wishes everyone Happy Merdeka. New York is bright and sunny, and his office was buzzin’. 

If ever there will be any Merdeka that i enjoyed the most, this would be at the top of my list. Right here, in the heart of KL.

Nad and Radin at Hameed’s Kedai Mamak

Yom had to endure Radin, just like the rest of us

Me and Nad all set for masquearade

All the girls in the bus

The morning after, Radin getting dressed for work

Radin giving us the bootie

I did Nad’s makeup for her to woo the crowd at a wedding

Kedai Mamak again: staple food for Malaysians!

The girls and i have decided to celebrate Merdeka this year the "Malaysian" style. Our recipe would be:

1. A bunch of gool old girlfriends from uni days. All from a Malaysian uni.

2. A bunch of cassanovas we’ve never met, all set up for a six-some blind date. They are all Malaysian boys (i hope… Nad?)

3. The next day is definitely a Malaysian public holiday ( no office crap!)

4. Happy hours begin at 8pm.

5. Dinner at a place that serves the best Char Kuey Teow in town. Hopefully with extra kerang.

6. Supper would probably be Teh Tarek at some kedai mamak.

7. All night long we will be changing our intellectual views on how crappy Malaysian men can be (or how awesome) and how many Malaysian bosses are from either hell or 7 feet down under or how the way Malaysians speak English would be the new Creole language.

8. Dont bring your cars to the designated place, get the public transport instead.. unless you wanna be caught in the Merdeka eve-cum-late evening downpour massive traffic jam.

9. Watch pirated dvds.

10. Choose a dodgy-in-the-heart-of-town sleazy hotel venue to bunk in for the night. Somewhere that screams out loud the true habits of real Malaysians.

Cheers girls! I look forward to an awesome night of analyzing the typical Malaysian behaviour

Woohoo!!!! I am officially a makeup artist for real!!! Today, i finally printed my business card for my Makeup Artist endeavour. It reads:

Aira Natchiar

Makeup Artist, Beauty Consultant

Cellphone: 012-3070397  Email: aira.aziz@gmail.com

Services:

• Professional/ Bridal Makeup
• Makeup for Bridesmaids/ Mother of the Bride
• Muslim ladies beauty grooming (scarves and veils)
• Makeup for Photoshoots
• Parties and Special Events
• Children’s Parties

My card is printed in a bubbly pink color, with a picture of a sexy woman’s face, pouted to be powdered. On the other side is the list of services i provide, with cute polka dots background. Weeeeeheeee!!! I feel like a child again, playing dress up.

With a Diploma in Professional Makeup and a passion for face painting, i am now launching a part time career as a Makeup Artist/Beauty Consultant.

I decided to use my nickname instead as a glam effect. Hehe. Actually, its because my real name is just too ethnocentrically exotic, i dont wanna make my clients all confused and messed up with my origins when i’m about to do their faces.

So, friends, do call me up if you want to be all madeup, puffed-up, beautified and cosmetic-ized for a glamorous occasion, i’d be sure to help

I specialize in smoky eyes ala’ Alicia Keys, fake eyelashes ala’ Anita Sarawak and bubbly lipgloss ala’ Britney Spears

Most importantly, i cater for scarves wearing women just like myself, with a flair for giving hijab wearers a nice twist to their headgear

My prices are highly negotiable…….. and friends of course gets a great discount and even free trials

My collection of makeup range and the products that i use are color pallettes especially imported from Japan and also international products that i splurged on my last trip to New York. But really, whats great about my service is that it will definitely give you that natural boost of made up positive confidence that every women should have in today’s modern world.

My brand image is femininity, elegance, confidence, success and to be truly independent. I hope to specialize in making women feel good about themselves, happy to be able to stand on their own two feet and have this great thirst for making it big in their very own way.

My prick of a twin started a book club but i am not a member. This is because she and her bookish friends did not invite me to be a part of it on the basis that i was gonna topple it over and name the club the Unicorn Club, with the official color Purple.

But i would like to hereby declare that i have few book reccommendations to reccommend, books that i have read and am reading at the moment:

1. Hillary Clinton’s Living History- i love the feminism in her!

2. Bill Clinton’s My Life- splendidly written, he is truly an awesome writer and the book is so full of details about the foreign policy making etc. Even on the Lewinsky trial, which was yeateryears juicy trials out in the open book again.

3. Good to Great by Jim Collins- a gift from Aziz Bakar. Probably he thought i was not great enough

4. The Kite Runner - another gift from Aziz Bakar, the book he bought me when he was trying to charm me over on our first official date. Do read, its higly emotional!

5. My Feudal Lord- a scandalous book on how to marry a rich husband and then topple him over. A must read!

6. The Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri- stories from a confused Indian. (This is soooo me…)

7. HOW TO MAKE YOUR MAN BEHAVE IN 21 DAYS OR LESS USING THE SECRETS OF PROFESSIONAL DOG TRAINERS - my all time favourite on how to tie your man on a leash and dictate him for life!!!! Hahahahahahhaah!!!

Note: No wonder i was not invited to join pricky twin’s book club! Hehe.

Another posting about my Manager.

Everybody must be thinking that i am being bullied and bulldozed at work so badly that its making me think about it 24-7.

In contrary, i am actually the happiest with my job ever since i started working in November 2004. Thats why i could not stop thinking and talking about it.

Everybody gets a nasty boss, colleague or workload. But i’ve always believed that its the way you are able to "manage" it that makes all the difference.

Although my manager is the person i somehow have nightmares about, i still believe that there’s a lot of good in her that i won’t be able to get from any other inexperienced, ill-knowledged boss.

So after her daily spanking to me and my colleague earlier this morning, we all went out for lunch at McDonalds and the usual conversation went on and on about cars, cars, cars, cars, cars and the company we work for. The juicier part was when we got to the analysis of our job performance which i definitely was not interested to hear about considering the fact that i exercised a rampant rebellion last week.

But hey, everybody needs to loosen up sometimes and tick of what they’re really ticked off about. She said all she needed to say about me; my pace at work, my slow pace of picking up engineering jargons, etc etc. Now the best part was when we did a cross evaluation and she prompted me to say what i didn’t like about her.

Bingo!!  I’ve been waiting for this moment for the longest time.

I said: You are an awesome eacher, but you have no manners, i think i need to send you to a charm school. You scream so loud i have adopted the culture also, unfortunately. Did u escape from a military camp whatsoever? Did u swallow a microphone when you were a kid?

There, i said it all. She was laughing so wildly by the time i finished my last sentence.

So, over cheeseburger, coke and french fries today, i saw a lot of hope in this career of mine. And truly, i felt really good for being where i am, for hanging on during the rocky days and for always being driven by inspiring yet  fanatical bosses. They are truly, just passionate people who are fanatical about cars, the company and what they do.

She told me her side of the story, her struggle for perfection, her willingness to face the brutal fact and to produce results. And in this company where power is mixed with business and politics, theres a whole lot of struggle just to come up with a good quality car. We have to clean up the mess. Know what is the mess. Understand the vision. Get the right drive. Shift into the right gear when a crisis hits us. She’s speaking like a true PWC consultant- a job she once embraced.

Is Proton a company that is responsible to sell cars or to provide knowledge?

I would say for now, it is an excellent training ground for me.

This is the place i have embraced after my long years of being a naive student, idealistic about life and everything else. This is the place i got my first official paycheck after graduation, where i bought my first car. Where i met Aziz Bakar, the current love interest, and where i began to establish important relationships with those young and old, but yet, all inspiring.

Everybody, has a story to tell. Some are like hedegehogs, quiet and simple, yet a winning weapon. Some are furious like foxes, fast and swift, like my current Manager.

On a closing note, she said to me: At the end of the day, you must have fun …. because if your job is no fun, what the hell are you spending 80% of your day here for?

So when i was driving home from work today, i realized that over the last 20 months of being employed by Proton, i have to say that i do enjoy my working life. And i had to realize it today, over McDonalds and a fanatic boss.

And i do wonder why others dont have much fun and happiness in their lives, when they have better Bachelors than i do, they work for better companies, they might get paid better salaries. But they’re just not happy. An annoyying colleague or boss tick them off, and its into depression mode they will resolve into.

I don’t know. I feel like life is just too short to be mediocre. And i want every bit of my young life to be fun, meaningful and ever so colourful. My uni days, my fresh graduate days, my single days…. And they look ever so perfect now, and i’m grateful that through all the obstacles i’m passing through, i’m still holding on and braving through the fire.

Is this what it feels like to endure the pain and enjoy the ride? Because to not be mediocre is a lot of work, i have to agree to that. But then again i ask myself over and over again… do i really just want to settle for a simple life, or do i expect more out of it.

I would choose the latter of course. And perhaps thats why, i am fated to deal with difficult people all my life. My ex boss was difficult but very inspirational too. My current boss drives me up the wall, but maybe because i do need to be driven up the wall.

Maybe i do need that push, because i have so mcuh in me to experience, to do, to give and to use up the potential.

And for this realization, i’m glad for the French fries, cheeseburger and the fanatic boss.

Apa lagi, Siti kahwin lah…..

Love her dress and the Christian Dior lace.

Hate her tudung… the anak tudung looked so oversized, like one of those 5 ringgit things you buy from Jalan Masjid India. For goodness sake, go to Sri Munawwarah at TTDI and get some Muslimah tips.

Hate her makeup… why do a smoky look on your nikah day and make yourself look so evil. Why spend thousands on (again…. must i dwell on it…) Christian Dior lace when you got your makeup made for an evening ball?

The ring. I cannot tell wheter its a diamond (as big as the Ritz?) or some zamrud rock. I remembered J-lo’s pink rock costed USD 4million and its not as big as that. Well, anyway, Siti cannot quote Coco Chanel who says "less is more."

Gosh, i am so bias… am i not? I am the ex-fan, now i am a fan from hell!!

I just cant help it, hate the fact she married that man who left his 20 year old marriage for a superstar.

My colleagues and i could not concentrate on our big presentation tomorrow because we were analysing her actions. Some survey has been conducted and these are our findings on why Siti did what she did:

1. She didn’t have much of a social life.

2. She is re-paying Datuk K for the Royal Albert Hall deed.

3. She is not educated, thus cannot measure the repercussions. Its beyond mathematics.

4. She was never a good-goody after all.

5. She is choosing the easy way out. Marry a rich man and life will be easy.

Eeeeek!!!

Well, who says a wedding is as easy as a marriage? It never is. I guess.

If i had a choice, i would want to choose the easy way out too. I still have a choice, but perhaps my math is better than Siti’s and i’m calculating my repercussions more correctly.

If i wanted an easy way out, i would have taken up my mother’s easy way out to get married, which is a double reception with my twin, do the whole thing up at home and get the whole thing over with.

I forgot that even though we live in TTDI, our house is still freaking damn small and don’t tell me my General Managers are gonna have a fun time sashaying in my mother’s tiny garden if we have the wedding there? And Aziz Bakar’s Harvard mates who hails all the way from Manhattan are gonna squeeze their way in between all the makcik’s makcik’s…? Yup, i think i will wed when i can afford something tastier than my mother’s choice.

And my mother suggested that i dont have to buy a house but just bunk in with them at our tiny house in TTDI. Like my banker of a boyfriend is going to let his ego have its downfall by letting that happen. I can actually hear him squeak in horror. According to my manager, such an act is taboo.

I think we need to listen to our choices as much as we still have the choices.

I just wish Siti would have had better luck with hers.

She wears Timberland instead.

Yup, as much as i know how Hollywood movies can so exxagerate, they did not do a good job in the new movie. I swear my manager is a thousand times more annoyying. And she wears Timberland, so thats one fashion icon i’m not gonna follow.

But she did a good thing for me today, after the daily Monday morning ragging, i decided to be my usual bitch self and refute everything she says, i did it rather excellently that she bought me a nice Ayam Kampung lunch.

To do an analysis of the movie (The Devil Wears Prada) i just watched, i so purposely watched it because it featured New York City as its main background. I didnt realize the character had pretty much in common.

We’re both thirsty for experience and knowledge of the working world. We’re fated with difficult bosses. We go out with other boys when we are far away from our boyfriends. And we buy good looking shoes.

Last week, i revealed the worst version of myself.

This would not have happened if my manager was a bit more polite in treating me and my colleagues as her subordinates. Somehow, i dont really blame her for being such an uproar- in a troubled company like ours, everybody is stressed out.

But, politeness is still the best policy and diplomacy will always win hands down.

I think when my manager decided to take up her job, she came along with her Degree from an established US university, many many years of experience in this line, dignity, confidence, and a big paycheck. But, she definitely has forgotten her manners.

When i decided to join the working world, i figured that politeness could always win me friends, respect and peace. Little did i know that this strategy is not helping me in this situation that i’m in, where my manager is a screaming, screeching maniac.

Weird thing is, i do find myself still liking her for her intelligence, endurance and brevity. But politeness won’t let me survive the battle, this time.

hus, i decided to do a thorough personality change at the workplace and fight fire with fire. I scream back when she screams at me. I defended myself when she fires me with unnecessary workload. I threw my papers in the air when she throws her papers at me. I showed up for work 2 hours late every morning last week.

The most heated up conversation i had with her was:

She: %*###@!!! F**k you.

Me: By f**king me won’t solve the problem.

Luckily, it was not a disastrous rebellion. She finally noticed and regretted her harshness, claiming to other colleagues that she realizes that i do not like her:

She: I think she (me) doesnt like me.

My colleague: No, lah…. you dont scream at her lah.

She: Eh, how lah, if her boyfriend comes back from the US and buy Proton and kick me out of the company?

My colleague: I dont think he is that mean…

Another conversation between me and her that i was really proud of because i really snapped at her and it made me feel really good:

She: So, have you asked our GM what you should do?

Me: I think you should settle your office politics with him first, then come back to me.

She: (dumbfounded)

My GM realizes my stress but decided to let me be a big girl about it and handle it myself. I found this to be unfair and decided to throw my tantrum at him too:

GM: Parvin, have you done ….. ?

Me: I only have two hands and a head. Cant finish that yet when Ms Manager wants something otherwise.

GM: I dont need your hands, i just need your head.

Me: Well, i’m using it to topple both you and the Manager at the moment. Too occupied.

GM: (dumbfounded)

I leave for home at 5.30pm sharp everyday last week even if my assignments are not done yet. I leave for home with my desk in a wreck- computer not switced off, pencils everywhere, papers thrown even underneath my desk. It was a complete mess.

GM: Parvin, your desk needs some cleaning up.

Me: Well, as you know, me and Ms Manager are involved in an Israeli-Lebanese crisis. The ceasefire has not happened for us yet. Unless of course, you as the UN would offer to do something about it..

GM: (dumbfounded again)

So, last week has been really tiring. Its really not in me to be rude and snappy. But i guess this is a good awakening. I finally found the fire in me to survive in the bad, bad world of office politics.

Nobody dared to tick me off for my "accidental" late attendance. Nobody dared to ask me to attend any unnecessary meetings.

Now, they realizes that i’m too thick skin to be shoved around.

I hope next week would be better for me. Can’t wait for Monday!!

At work today, one of my colleagues’ received Siti Nurhaliza’s wedding card invitation.

Very very pretty and never in my life have i ever seen such a breathtaking view of a wedding invitation.

A confession of the century: I’m a big Siti Nuhaliza fan. Let me rephrase that. Was a big Siti Nurhaliza fan.

I love her vocal endurance and some of her songs that are not too dreary. I love her face, her makeup and her strong performances. I love the fact that she’s truly Malaysian and that she’s decent and young but truly successful. I buy her cd’s and her vc’d’s and magazines that feature her on the cover because she’s just so damn gorgeous and always puts on the best combination of smoky eyeshadow and nude lipgloss.

Unfortunately, as much as i love the fact that she’s truly Malaysian, another thing of a Malaysian twist that has been a common trend among young, successful and beautiful Malaysian girls is the fashion of marrying an old, big-bellied Datuk. And just like any other Malaysian girl hungry for automatic status change and salary increase, Siti also is diving into the land of ultimate wealth, motherhood, and the many more perks you will get when you turn your rich business partner into your husband.

Some say its love, isn’t it sweet for a 27 year old to finally found the love of her life in a man who left his 20 year old marriage for a superstar… and to change the lives of his four growing sons in an instant, who probably would think its cool to have a new mum who’s willing to be a mum to a boy who’s not even 10 years her junior… wow, they can so chat about girlfriends and the dating world. That, or Datuk K is doomed to lose all his properties that’s featured in the news, his sons, and to also have the tax office coming after him.

What is it about Malaysians and their obsession and adoration for old men? What is it with girls and their liking towards men beyond their maturity level? 

How is it that Malaysians can still sit and watch a tv show featuring the secrets of Siti’s love life with Datuk K and laugh all giddily at what a charming man he is and how its so utterly romantic when you dip strawberries with chocolates? How can they possibly sit and watch and clap their hands when obviously the marriage (or to-be marriage) was built upon a divorce that has just happened? A marriage built on top of another broken marriage. A marriage that happens because you encourage the breakdown of another marriage.

Which means, Malaysians are not only clapping their hands for Siti’s happiness, but also for the ex-wife’s sadness and departure into a world of widowhood.

A confession today: I am no more a Siti Nurhaliza fan.

I would still be her fan is she were to marry an old man, but not this man who left his family for her just because she’s Malaysia’s No.1 Sweetheart.

I think Siti is not making a mistake for wanting to marry a man she loves, but she did make a mistake in not looking hard enough for a man who perhaps can still give her all the riches and glitz, but he does not necessarily have to already be married and a father of four.

From all the years of elevating herseld to the highest pillar of stardom, she has now become just like the rest of the clan. She is no better than any other star in the ugly world of the music industry. She is just like the rest of them.

And because of this, i think many of her fans are disspointed, and very much disgusted. And me, i’m just one of those fans. Or ex-fan.

Last Friday nite, my girlfriends and i celebrated Radin’s birthday at a sleazy club-cum-restaurant in Jalan Telawi.

Radin wanted an all-posh all-dressed up venue at Changkat Bukit Bintang, but Era, Mass, Yom, Ally, Nad and me had a wilder imagination in mind and figured that if Radin wanted to feel all grown up on her 25th bday, then we will give it to her face

The place was loud, with a skanky ambience, thanks for the maroon walls and dim lights. Men were drinking wine and the ladies were smoking Marlboro. It made me feel like we were the Pussycat Dolls in the raunchy ‘Buttons’ videoclip and the male stripper is Snoop Dogg, except that he wasn’t wearing anything baggy.

All of us got dressed in our best slinky attire, tired from work but eyes wide open to be happy for perky Radin who’s so excited to turn 25 at an ambience where the clubhouse was banging with loud music and everyone either had a low-back dress gal wrapped in their arms or a martini. But what really opened our eyes was when Ali Reza walked in.

Nad arranged for a so-called "male stripper" as a perfect bday gift- its actually a dude from her office who she’s been longing to introduce to Radin. An A-Class guy in my category

Of course, all of us had never met him, so it was just so awkward situation i really wish i wasn’t there. Radin acted like he was never there until i think an imaginary angel kicked her in the shin and she started the conversation and broke the ice.

For once girl…. I’m really glad you did that. I’m glad that i can finally say, you’re all grown up.

Finally, Nad and my endless discussions of wanting to pair up Radin with someone else so that she will dump her lousy bf is finally executing itself.

Yoohoo!! I hope they both will kick it off real good…. then Radin can dump her current boyfriend for an A-class dude

At the end of the day…… I looked back upon that nite and i’m glad we had a good time. I guess none of us wanted Radin to end her bachelor-hood too early. Its not about being 25. Its about being a part of us, a part of being young and carefree……… and about friendship.

And i’m glad that we can still do that, to just get down and have fun and laugh at our mistakes…. and allow ourselves to still make those mistakes again. Because this is the time of our lives. The fruitful youth, the most colourful time of our lives. We will look back to this day and smile.