The Feline Territory

I’ve never really seen myself as an inventor or a renaissance in any manner. However, i’d really like people to know that i can have radical thoughts when it comes to dating.

Yes, we do get entangled in the usual girlfriend-boyfriend routine of being in love and being attached, and that is normal if you happen to live in the new millennium.

But, how do you make a long-distance, 12-hours time zone difference relationship work? A relationship where you share at least 2 phonecalls a day, 3 emails a day and some long conversations per weekend- but still do not see each other for the next 17 months… work?

I who coincidentally am in a situation like this right now calls for a radical change in this kind of dating game.

If you are brave enough to go through such a relationship where there are no after-work dinners, no partners for the weekend and no lepak time at kedai mamak every other nite; maybe the best you will get is occasional tips like money into your bank account or a trip or two to a designated country, then you will be brave enough to try out my recipe for radical dating.

The key thing is to have a whole new set of paradigm shift- let go of all the rules of dating and divide the long distance commitment into a file titled "The Ultimate". Then, make a new file and get it titled "The Ultimatum".

The Ultimate will be your primary dating game, with all focus about the future and all that crap focusing and surrounding it. Here, some rules will stay, like the illusion of loyalty and this thing called love.

For the Ultimatum, this is the game where the rules are clear: no commitment and if the other party refuses to comply, then all will fail. It is an offer with specific terms and conditions.

See, easy isn’t it? Whoever said that love is blind is truly not a genius after all.

p/s: Shakespeare said it but i think it is overrated.

OK, 4 more days and i’m off to the land of the Europeans. For the first time in my life, i am going to Europe! Woohoo… and Switzerland for this matter, which is magnificient because i have always been in great awe of the beauty and tranquility when they filmed the many many Hindi videoclips on the Swiss Alps (Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Mohabbatein) … hehe

I think i needed some time away from the office anyway. And some time also away from home. And some time away from my handphone. Maybe also some time away from everybody.

This trip could not have come at a better time. I think i need to shutdown for a little bit and reflect on the 25 years that has passed me by. Thank you Proton, for giving me this opportunity

Although it is a business trip, and i still needed to walk to work and spend the day at the Motorshow, at least i can imagine myself to be away from the routine and will be awrded to have a lot of time for myslef to think about the changes that i needed to do to go through perhaps… another 25 years of my life…

I’m glad i’ll be seeing Switzerland before i turn 26- that means all these 25 years, i have covered the Middle East, America and Europe. That means i can spend the next 25 years travelling to places like Nepal the Himalayas or Africa and India. Somehow i think, the Middle East will always have a special place in my heart. I absolutely love the landscape of a large desert and its trotting camels.

However, i haven’t gotten into the "packing" mood yet- i stashed everything into a huge suitcase and will do the arrangements last minute. Its not that i am not excited about it, but i have been everyday exhausted with work that it ruins my mood everytime i come home. Nope, i think i have not gotten excited yet about the trip. I think i will only be excited about it 12 hours before i get onto the flight.

I think work today has totally drenced all my energy. Like it did every single passing day.

Bluearghh!!

Its the second last day of February 07. Come the month of March, i’m out onto a new transition of life. The early twenties is over, i will be going into the era of the mid- twenties and the late-twneties.

I guess this era is supposedly supposed to make me act more maturely, in career, health, relationships, friendships, and maybe even hardships…

Most importantly, it is a signal that it is a time to start putting the planning into immediate action. At the top of my wishlist:

1. Clear off car loan and study loan

2. Get a partner to venture into beauty-parlour cum coffee shop

3. Invest on an apartment (hooray! a dinky little place to call my own)

Okay, i finally am getting my reward for the hard work i’ve been doing all these while….. My bosses has decided to award me by sending me off to the famous Swiss Alps for the 77th Geneva International Motorshow! Geneva, Switzerland- the land of the snowy mountains and the United Nations!

I cannot wait to check out the VWs and the BMWs and the Ferraris and the Volvos, and my all time favourite Dodge machines….

Je suis joyeux! (as they say in French). I’m gonna have to get used to the tongue-twisting language and am currently practising the langage de commande of the city

I have never been to Europe, and although its not one of my most preferred destinations because of its ovverated reviews, i however am very much looking forward and extremely excite’ or en e’moi about conducting a market intelligence at the world’s biggest, most humongous annual International Motorshow. Or, shall i rephrase that: International voiture

Gosh, a Motorshow as big as this one in Geneve’ will totally boost my much needed exposure of the latest trend and frenzy in the auto world…. and i am just bursting with plaisir!!

The weather is expected to be just above zero degrees, and after i received the clothing allowance from Proton, i rushed to Zara and got myself a wool double breasted coat (complete with big buttons just like Sarah Jessica Parker, hehe) and a much un-needed for practicality but much needed for glamorousity: Fur muffler! Haha! There were also ski jackets on sale that had a furry hood, so i grabbed it, along with suede gloves with fur trimmings. (too much obsession with furry animals has driven me to be also attracted to these things when it comes to clothing! Oh gosh! I’m becomg a real lamb!!) As if it would do me any good, but my colleague and i figured we were the only girls in the team of R&D engineers, so we needed to be as girly as possible to maintain the gender bias. Hehe…

Most importantly, i cannot wait to see the never been released before BMWs and all the automobiles that breaks one’s wallet….

I will get to spend a week of great work in Switzerland- and i hope, the idea of that, is as breathtaking as the view that i wish to see. Allons-y!!

Its back. Those rushing hours are back.

People are back from their christmas-new year’s-cny’s holidays for good and its now uphill all the way.

I had a presentation to the MD again yesterday and another tomorrow morning. Bluearghh!! We see him often on the pages of newspapers, but when you had to handle him real life, its like hell freezes over. And my first presentation to the Board of Directors is on Monday. Bluearghh!! The Board of Directors! What the heck! They are the people you see on the Annual Report! i will either get screwed or unscrew a screw. I think i’m kinda getting used to producing proposal papers and write-ups and blend them with my flair of language, and sprinkle it onto the Management.

I almost fell asleep when the MD was speaking yesterday because i was so tired and it was already almost 8pm and we were still debating over some sales package and communication strategy. Thank God he has an awesome deep macho voice and a very good looking face, the true aura of charisma mixed with style. I think he was wearing a Breitling watch. His Proton uniform looked so sleek and soft compared to my starchy one.

Everybody else was a man, and i sat there, a little girl in mascara and lipgloss, trying to make a difference in the corporate world.

I have gotten a real big migraine thanks to the weather and the air-cond and the stress of it all. I wonder why everything is a rush? Its bad enough we dont have enough Executives in the department, some of us are even doing a Manager’s job- but we’re doomed with two very critical-mocroscopic bosses who cannot take no or "in a minute" for an answer.

I am truly, the real kuli. With all the running around i had to do, i shouldnt bother to jog or swim anymore.

I am a slave to the world of papers, engineering designs, customers research and ultimately, the cars that we have.

Call me the kuli, the victim of the rush hour.

I find complete solace in expressing myself through my writings. I cannot find anything else that soothe me better than putting it down in words- hard cold words!!

Being who i am, i seriously think i might be going through a crisis. Sometimes i worry about myself when i drive the long road home alone, thank goodness for the Ipod blasting in my ears.. do i want to do this for as long as my muscles can retain me?

Why do people work so hard while others bum themselves around?

Am i going to be like one of those people who has no life because they choose to not have a life?

Is there anything wrong with making your job your main focus when you are at the best age in your life?

I am, in the best age of my life.

I think i have the right to work my ass off, meet people, new places, travel the world and just swallow it all. I want to turn 30 and say to myself that i have done this much and that much. I want to move to new heights, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.

So i shouldnt be feeling sorry for myself for what i have to get through to get to where i wanted to be.

Cheers to me, and cheers to writing.

To unwind, i read motivational books. Today, many are still on leave, so i took the opportunity to flip through a colleague’s book while preparing for a Management paper.

The paper i was working on was highly brain-wrecking and straight to the point- so there was no room for flexibility. It was raw facts and 1+1=2 theory.

Ironically, the book i was reading was the complete opposite-  "The Surrendered Single" by Laura Doyle. But amazingly, i think the book spoke to me.

I recall the conversation i had with my boyfriend two nights ago, it was about honesty and all those crap, and i hated that conversation. Hated it because sometimes too much honesty can be irritating. And i was beginning to think that he was irritating, and i didn’t like that. In fact, it was a real turn-off and i saw a flaw in him that was too apparent to shut up about.

But this book flew into my hands and there were some magical phrases that sprang into my heart. Let me just share some:

SURRENDERING MEANS ACCEPTING ALL OF HIS QUALITIES, AND TRYING TO IMPROVE ONLY YOURSELF. THERE IS AN IMPERFECT MAN WHO IS PERFECT FOR YOU, TOO.

Hhhmm….. this is quite true. I have always been wishing that he’d be more this and that, but i truly forgot that i needed change too, and if theres any more improvement that can be done, it should be from my side first.

THE PERSON WILL NOT BE PERFECT, BECAUSE NO ONE IS. HE WILL HOWEVER, HAVE SOME FANTASTIC, INTERESTING QUALITIES AND CHARACERISTICS THAT BALANCE WELL WITH YOURS. YOU CAN EITHER LAMENT ABOUT WHAT ATTRIBUTES HE DOESN’T HAVE OR CELEBRATE THE ONES HE DOES.

Hhhmm…. interesting qualities would be for me, his idealistic and realistic views and problem solving skills. He can be rather too sensitive and expressive at times- but maybe i will not lament on that. I will now celebrate the fact that his interesting qualities would be the main thing why we can be good together.

Wow, and i thought that my whole day would be breezy and i’d be on cloud nine again. Until my boss came knocking on my desk and commanded me to join him for a meeting with the MD. Ugh!!

Thank goodness we have a super-good looking number one guy in the company who melts you with his super macho voice and elegance. Hehe.

So, exactly, thats how i unwind. Turn everything humorous, read a good book and enjoy the pretty faces that you see.

I dreaded the holiday. I was bored out of my wits. I longed for the office rush hour and the madness of it all. Many said i was nuts, i think i have been bitten by the office bug. Four whole days of agony!

I guess i’m not one of those blessed Malaysians living in KL with a hometown to run home to every now and then. Everybody related to me or almost related to me lives in the heart of the city and so a trip to PD lighted me well. Mass took me away from my holiday blues and we sailed on the roadtrip to a day of sunbathing, ultimate swimming in the serene pool and of course, BBQ. The countryside simply amazes me with its jetty and its cheap ice cream! Bluearghhhhhh! I rode on the ATV and it felt like Baywatch.

I also promised Snowy i’d spend quality time with her, so i drove her to visit my grandmother in KL and she was scared out of her brains because the big bad tomcats were ready to pounce on her.

However, i cannot help but miss being at the office. I think i have becomed a real office rat! Bluearghhhhhhhhh! 

Snowy and my granny

Just like Baywatch

That’s me on a wooden jetty

Prior to Valentines day, my coleagues and i ponder upon the issue of LOVE - the total picture.

The bosses are away for 2 days on a Management Annual Mtg, and finally we got the chance to relax and become real human beings at work.

Someone told me the best thing in the world is to be with the one you love, with all your heart- the kind of love that is needy and can’t live without each other love.

Another friend said that love is a metaphor, its a picture, its not a saying, but it means the same.

How do you know she’s the one when she is the one?

How do you know he’s not the one when you still don’t feel of getting rid of him?

Must everybody treat and see love the way everybosy else does?

Why is it that so many of us looks at love as an idealistic thing- that it will save us from all evil and agony.

I think love is a lot more than that. It is NEVER idealistic. Its never your last chance at happiness. I believe in second chances.

And for me, love is more about the journey, the pain and the gain- the whole tormented days and the sweet sweet days- a mixture of both, blended together.

That means true love doesnt really mean you have evrything in common, always good to each other and everything great, kan?

So, how do you know its love- how do you know its in front of you, talking to you, on the phone with you?

Will you only know when its gone?

Maybe you will never know. Maybe you will nevr know the reason why.

You just do. If its bad, you swallow it hard. If its good, you have a lot to be thankful for.

I forgot to mention that my greatest terror of last month was the fact that my GM got the access to my blog titled the Confessions of a cuckoo cat! Argh!

It was my stupidity because he wanted his daughter to learn to compose writings and keep a blog, so i showed him how to create a bloggie, and i ended up giving him my cuckoo address and he read it. Argh!

I wasn’t able to sit the whole day. I definitely went cuckoo that day and although i tried erasing the add from his laptop, i knew he mustve saved i somehow and when he turned up for work the next day, he quoted some of the things i said about him in the blog. Thank God it was something i composed about my frustration at work towards some old people i argued with that day. Phew! Thank goodness he didnt read the ones where i criticized him even more!

Therefore, right after that, http://confessionsofacuckoocat.blogspot.com was deleted.

I guess blogs that are titled that way are meant to lead a short.

So this weekend, maybe i’ll give birth to a new one…..

Cuckoo…cuckoo…cuckoo…