Burnt out
It just wasn’t one of those days. Its was a day when all fails and we hit rock-bottom.
I just had one of those days.
Working on an urgent project is bound to make you burn out. I’m involved in a super-mega project thats got so much urgency in it- it drives every one up the wall.
The worst thing is that i thought i could handle the stress. I thought i was much better than this. But i fail too to rise to the surface. I needed to break down for a moment and let loose.
It just happened. And it didn’t feel good when it happened. Its like a madding throbbing migraine. It starts with you snapping at every other person you meet and began cursing and sending hate messages.
It triggered a month ago when i found myself awake by 4am thinking about my project. I could think of nothing else but my project. There isn’t anything else much more important than this.
Nobody else matters. Nothing else matters. Everything else has become second best, i placed them on the backseat. There is nothing else that i wanted so much than to succeed. Nothing else matters. Everything else is a shutdown but this project.
This project is the thing that keeps me alive, the one that keeps me breathing.
Its like ive been completely possessed, hypnotized.
I fell in love with my project, my work, my ambition.
So when that fails me, it made me stumble and i lost my wits for a moment.
The good thing about life is the friends you have, the colleagues around you.
Everybody became my strength of support- everybody understood the pressure i was in, the pressurising involvement.
Me breaking down was a ground breaking episode.
I was sober a bit after. I guess, i probably needed a breather. I needed to let go.
But then i also needed to come back and face the bad weather again. The project isn’t over yet, we have not yet seen the biggest wave.
I could do two things- i could either stay down under or i could rise above the expectations. I decided to do the latter and think like a winner.
Even if i didn’t win, i wouldn’t really fail either.
Even if i reach for the sky and couldn’t get the moon, i could probably still get a handful of stars 
